View of Swangard field from behind the supporters
@residualimage/AFTN
TSS Rovers Logo Vancouver Whitecaps BMO Academy Logo

TSS Rovers

Whitecaps FC

WOMEN

0

2

(2-4-1)

(6-0-1)

Huynter (62')
Hernandez-Gray (81')

MEN

1

2

(3-1-3)

(4-1-3)

Sangha (74')

Samori (26')
Ghasemi (90')

Swangard Stadium : Burnaby

June 21, 2024

Matchweek 7: Donuts and Crossbars

First things first: we have the coolest people associated with our club.

Next bit of business: fuck that crossbar, man.

Quick rundown of the events leading up to our showdown with the Whitecaps Academy:

Adam arrives at the stadium a few hours early to help set up. Everything is already set up, and Bernie has a beer in hand as we hang a few more banners. As we’re doing that, our keeper coach, Martin, comes our way with 2 six packs of Rovers Branded Craft Lager. “Sorry it’s not colder, guys. Please enjoy and thanks for the support”. This is not the first time this has happened with Martin. He’s a good dude.

As we take our bounty to the parking lot just behind the south end of the stadium, and attempt, in vain, to get those 12 cold (2 at a time in a tiny little cooler bag) and start enjoying, we’re joined by a few others straggling in. Among those rolling in are 2 ladies, one in a #21 University of Illinois jersey, carrying 4 boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts, with a note from our #16, Joanna Verzosa-Dolezal. Once again, thanking us for our support. She’s done this every year for the past 3 seasons. Our donut queen. What a night this is shaping up to be!

And then…..message in the WhatsApp group chat:

“Teelo brought us a bunch of pizzas.” Our men’s coach completes the Pizza, Donuts, and Beer trifecta. What a guy. We head in, and procure a folding table from the Swangard storage, and set up a feast fit for a bunch of Pirates.

Pizza and Donuts on the table
@swanguardians

We have the coolest people associated with our little club.

Weather is great! (A little hot, maybe). We’re fed! Our limited edition shirts have arrived early! Let’s go play some punk football.

The last time our women took on the Whitecaps juggernaut, on the opening week of the season, they got a bit of a beatdown, 7-0. We’ve seen some incredible improvement from the squad since then, so this would be a good test of where we stand compared to the start of the year.

In the heat, our Rovers stood firm on defense, and turned away the Whitecaps at every chance. Before we knew it, the halftime whistle blew. Waitaminit – it’s still 0-0. A long way from the 4-0 scoreline at the half in May. The field was slightly tilted for the Caps, but Kirstin Tynan and the Rovers held firm.

Second half, lets talk about that ‘fucking crossbar’. Ting! A Rovers shot goes over the head of the Caps keeper, and off the bar in front of us. So close! We’ve been hanging tough, but a goal there maybe puts the doubt firmly in the heavily favoured Whitecaps. But no, they open the scoring moments later off a weird deflection. 1-0.

A few minutes go by. We’re still right there. Ting! Another Rovers shot goes off the crossbar from distance. Are you kidding me now? How unlucky can we….Ting! Is that thing regulation height? That’s 3, which I’ve been told is a magic number. Surely, that’ll be the last we hear of that sound tonight.

Anyway, as the sun started to dip behind the grandstand at the Swanny, and our cursing at the crossbar got a little bit more salty, the Whitecaps sealed the deal in the 81st minute. 2-0 would be the final. Moral victories don’t count for much in the standings, but our Rovers gave the Whitecaps all they could handle in the heat and sun. The squad remains just out of a playoff spot, with several games in hand, and performances like this will likely see them back in the playoffs again.

As for our men, we’ve been playing with fire after our hot start, falling behind early in games and playing catch-up the rest of the way. Our lads handled the ‘Caps 4-0 at UBC earlier this season, so the term ‘favourite’ would likely apply to our still-undefeated Rovers.

It wasn’t in the first quarter of an hour this time, but Justyn (Justyn, you’re so cool) took down one of the visitors in the box, and subsequently went the wrong way on the penalty, and the Rovers were all of a sudden trailing once again. The Whitecaps looked quick on the night. We even briefly brought up the fact that we’ve never had a zero point matchday in our League 1 history. Brows were furrowed as the action went back and forth. With 15 minutes to play, we got our equalizer from Gurman Sangha on the rebound. Smoke up, we’re level. We also hit that fucking crossbar…again. That’s 4.

Our joy was reasonably short-lived. First, a scary moment as our tower Nik White took a head knock and was down for awhile as they patched him up. He forced his way back in shortly doing his best Connor MacMillan vs Pacific impression. As we were finishing up Bohemian Rhapsody, the Whitecaps made us wish we’d never been born at all, header in the corner. 2-1. That’s how it ended.

So, we packed up our first ever donut in League 1, as we finished up the last of the much more enjoyable ones that Joanna provided. Standings wise, it wasn’t a helpful night, but on the bright side, we have games in hand in both divisions. Our women’s good form gives them great hope of making the playoffs with extra games to play. On the men’s side of things, we fall behind for first, but have a few extra as well. If they can rediscover the early season form that almost shocked the world and gave them an early lead, they’ll have a real opportunity to win the league and get back to the Voyageurs Cup.

A man uses his arms to attempt to measure the height of a soccer goal
@swanguardians

We may have walked out of Swangard disappointed that night. But we walked out knowing that we still have the coolest people associated with our club.